Don’t we always look down upon this emotion? And although it resides
in each and every one of us, we frown upon it when visible in others.
And that is why, being content tops my list of desirable qualities
to possess, but the longing to acquire what other people have continues…
I want to be that traveler
Who can sleep on a plane! Not a fear in their mind admist unknown
skies, not a hovering uncertainty of reaching their destination alive.
Me?
Let’s just say, an airplane comes last on my list of preferred mode
of transport. I read somewhere that fear of flying is an actual psychological
disorder, and if that is true, then I suffer from one.
I want to be that aquanaut
Who can swim like a fish! An ordinary mortal when seen on land; an
expert swimmer under the sea.
Me?
I can manage to keep afloat, but struggle with breath after a couple
of strokes. I do not fear the water but do not know it well enough to venture
without a thought.
I want to be that buddy
Who never has to leave her childhood friends!
Me?
I make friends wherever I go, but the void left behind when you have
to leave your best friends behind, never seems to go.
I want to be that person
Who can ‘not-express’ their opinions even in the most heated of
debates or those brave ones who can fiercely voice their mind without regrets.
Me?
I have an opinion on almost everything and at times I regret making
a point. I sometimes retrospect on things I should definitely have said and the
other times I curse myself for not just shutting up.
I want to be that MOM
Who can keep her kids under control without raising her voice or resorting
to bribe or blackmail.
Me?
I am imperfect. I raise my voice, I threaten to cancel a play-date
and when most needed I even trade a candy for the peace of my mind.
Ditto in every "I want"!
ReplyDeleteI think I'm in the same boat as you, especially on the last bit, and no amount of self-talks have helped! I lose my temper often, am distracted with my phone, and bribes and negotiations is almost the de-facto way of getting things done at my place and my kids are actually surprised when they see me smiling and being goofy with them.
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